You know what?
I have been thinking a lots after my foundation course. There are many types of people, some bad, some good, some mature, some childish, some passionate and some, lifeless. Everyone stays in between those words. Some of my friends step into the path they planned. They go faster and further than all of others. It's good. No matter what, they are so clear about what they wanna do. Some of them just follow what their parents said. It can be good also. However, I don't believe it is real good way. *Sorry, I shouldn't judge. For me, it's not.* Some of my friends run away from obstacles just like what I did before. They seem to be blur for their future. Some of them give the chance to God or government to choose the future.
I believe people need to walk through a lot of struggles to find the real things that they want. I think a lot, but I can't say and promise this will be the thing that I want. I don't want to be fast, I don't want to be the best. I just want to be that kind of person that I want to be. I am not a tough girl, but I always wanna be. I still remember Kimberley told me that you're mature than you thought. No. I can't handle problems and stress. This is quite a reason that makes me feel like I am just an idiot. I am just repeating to question the future that no one has answer for it.
I don't like to stay, not like staying at a place. I mean in a zone. Staying in a same zone is like drowning. I know that there are fears, a lots of fears. And that is the thing keep pulling me. Changing will always makes people grow. What I really hope is to really change. I always thought I grew up a lot.
Maybe, but not enough, I don't want myself to be the present me. There are still a thousands of things that I think I can be better. I should be more insist to my principle or I should first find my principle. I shouldn't try to please anyone anymore. I should be tougher and stronger. A strong that can kill the monster in mind. I should learn to let go.. and more and more and more. Maybe, it's not maybe anymore :)
Maybe, but not enough, I don't want myself to be the present me. There are still a thousands of things that I think I can be better. I should be more insist to my principle or I should first find my principle.
People can choose to change and grow, but they can also choose to stay. It's not by chance but choice.
Girl cheers up, no matter what are you hesitating for, you're still you, a girl whom I admire so much even until now. Glad to see your words with self-criticism, it proves that you aren't lifeless. Get your own pace and walks gently into the dark. Haha. I always believe in one word, "Not when you catch the glimpse of hope then you decide to persist, persistence is to catch the glimpse of hope."
ReplyDeleteAll the best :D